you're a smooth one will stein, a smooth one indeed

you're what, 30 today? happy birthday =)

yeppers...happy b-day to kaeleigh!!!!

-jinae : )

Happy Birthday and Many Thanks for comments at our humble site for exploring the new shorter version of UT. Hope to get other STFers to join Mike Hempowicz and Kaori Phillips home with knee injuries to discuss this stuff.

Will, you are invitied to comment too. Can send the text of the Art Chapter...

are you ever going to visit MD/home again?

take care man

Happy b-day to u too!!!

happy birthday kaeleigh!

haha, later.

yes, merry birthday to all and to all shut the hell up.

Yay Kaleigh!

Rev Joshua Cotter's son wrote this essay below - comments for improvement are at the end - STF can help us in Bridgeport with this sort of thing?

A local Sixth Grader wrote this essay last year when students were discussing geography and a worldwide highway.

My son and his wife made a few suggestions for improvement. They are at the very bottom.

Hope you enjoy it.
~

Middle School Essay (Scheduled for Improvement)


     The building of railroads in America had positive effect on the growth of America in the 1900's. The railroads improved the life of America in the areas of transportation, urbanization, industrialization, communication, and creating more jobs.

    The first thing I'm going to talk about is transportation. Transportation helped people move from one place to another faster than usual. It also helped people bring goods to their factories. It also brought animals and food from farmers to be sold in the marketplace.

    The second thing is urbanization. Urbanization brought better living to the people. The new towns helped people by bringing things closer so they don't have to go far away. Even though urbanization helped people it also didn't. Since so many people stayed in one place all the time all the sewers and garbage brought pollution to the city. This also opened up a vast territory, nevertheless, for people to help their neighbors if they wanted to. 

   The third thing is industrialization. Industrialization brought many big factories so people could work and get money to help their family. Markets also opened so the people could use the money to buy things for their home.

   The fourth thing is communication. Communication brought a fast exchange of technology and skills people found out. It also brought a faster mail service. This also helped people in their relationship with their friends or family faster than ever.

   The fifth thing is creating more jobs. More jobs helped make a more active economy. The jobs also made more money to spend on goods and to go places. The money also made the people who made it have great leisure.

   If technology is used wisely it can benefit humankind. In the fields of education, transportation, communication, entertainment, health, and industry, technology can help us create a better world for everyone.

   The sixth area is education. We can use the internet to educate ourselves and find millions of topics. People can take college courses instead of going to a college to get a degree.

   The seventh area is transportation. Technology can be used by making different machines like faster cars and trains and airplanes which makes transportation easier and more convenient. Technology can also be used on the sea by making ships to take people around the world. Also there is space travel by NASA (and now a private company is starting) to explore different planets.

   The eighth area is health. Technology has helped make life saving drugs and medicines. Technology uses research applied to find cures for diseases. Technology helped get rid of pollution in the water and life above.

   The ninth area is entertainment. Technology has helped make different equipment like CDs, DVDs, TV, computers, movies, and video games to make peoples' lives less boring.

   The tenth area is communication. Technology has brought many things like telephones, TVs, Internet, wireless-Internet, and satellite to help us communicate with people all over the world.

   The eleventh area is industry. Automation and robots have helped industry by making cars and other automation devices.

   This is why the wise use of technology has helped all our lives.

 >
> Revision comments:
>
> Basically this student needs to focus on one main idea:
>
> 1- Railroads in America
> 2- How this improved technology effected the way of living - in all aspects of   American culture
>
> (Intro sentence: "The building of railroads in America had many positive effects on the growth of America in the 1900s.")
>
> Body: Can include all the points made about tech. and railroads combined
> - Transport
> - Urbanization, making way for improved communication
> - Industrailization & creating new jobs - specialized jobs and it's effect on education, improving health, way of living - Leisure time leads the way to developments in entertainment

(Closing sentence: "If technology is used wisely, it can benefit humankind. [The development of railroads in the U.S. allowed Americans to gain in the following areas...]")
>
> * Be sure to relate sll things said about technology in terms of railroad production in the U.S.*


Now Abe's comments
 
"the first thing is" "the second thing is""the third thing is""the fourth thing is"... it's kinda repetative
i think the word also is used too much
the last two paragraphs should be a little longer otherwise they aren't really paragraphs
heh
summarize a little better for that huge body
Posted 9/12/2005 at 9:22 PM by www.xanga.com/zeroeswing
 

This is part of the practice that can be a good preparation for the "real" essay contest at www.philosophyslam.org  

The concept of an overland connection crossing the Bering Strait is by no means a new one. William Gilpin, the first governor of the Colorado Territory envisioned a vast Cosmopolitan Railway in 1890 linking the entire world via a series of railways.

Straus (Golden Gate Bridge) and T. Y. Lin proposed one too...

yeahh happy birthday to kaeleigh. hahah i think i've said it on other people's xangas and bcworld at least 5 times. :)

heya will... i love the profile pic. You're like Businessman Muppet! hahahaa..

yea, happy bday to kaeligh.. *_*

Shimmy Cotter joins Mike Hempowicz (xanga.com/johnny_foreigner) and Kaori Phillips on the local list of STF members back home in CT.

Here is that list of Rev Joshua Cotter's songs that they may be persuaded to co-create a holiday musical for God's Day.

happy birthday both of you.

and have a good experience in Israel. let me know when your back